weekly digest #31
july 27 - august 2, 2026: pride & prejudice, the second downton abbey movie, forever is a feeling, delicious cake, complaining again
Chronic illness ebbs and flows. Unfortunately every bad day feels uniquely bad, and every symptom feels eternal. My muscles hurt, making my head ache and everything sluggish. I know I’ll feel better soon, but that’s cold comfort now.
reading
I finished rereading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen (published 1813), which was interesting directly after Sense and Sensibility. The two novels have more parallels than I remembered; I was especially thinking about Willoughby and Wickham, and the societal norms that let them both get away with so much bad behavior. Both men have eloped or attempted to elope with naive, sheltered teenage girls before the events of the books. Both girls were under the care of distant male guardians, who quickly cover up the affairs to the best of their abilities, allowing the men to move on to their next targets. In Willoughby’s case, as his offense is worse (he has abandoned an unmarried pregnant girl), Colonel Brandon challenges him to a duel. Neither are injured, so the matter ends there with no further action or publicity.
The catch-22 that these guardians and their (largely absent from the text) wards face is that publicizing the rake’s transgressions means ruining the woman’s life. She would have no chance of a suitable marriage in the future, and would probably have been shunned from polite society. In order to protect the women in their care, they’re leaving other women vulnerable to the machinations of men whose worst qualities, so far as anyone knows, are their debts. It’s interesting, though, that the women who suffer next are not as virtuous as these first victims. Marianne and Lydia are both flirtatious beyond propriety, and Austen certainly doesn’t find either one entirely innocent, though their punishments are equal to their misconduct. (Marianne, who is simply too forward, and sends clandestine letters, has her heart broken, while Lydia, who agrees to live with a man before they’re officially married, ends up tied to Wickham for life, without his having any real regard for her, and her reputation certainly takes a hit.) Willoughby and Wickham both end up unhappy, but their worst offenses are never made public.
I’m now rereading Mansfield Park. Last time I read Austen’s works, this was my least favorite, and I’m very curious to see if that’s still the case. I was thinking about Fanny Price a lot while reading Udolpho – she and Emily St. Aubert are both so virtuous that they can become tedious heroines. I’m trying to go into this reread with an open mind about Fanny, but I’m working against an irrational hatred of her name, which is like an uglier version of mine.
watching
The Jeopardy! summer hiatus has begun, and they’re airing reruns until September. It turns out it doesn’t really matter, because even though I’ve seen these episodes, I don’t remember the questions or the answers, so they’re basically good as new. It’s not as satisfying, though, to watch an episode you know you’ve already seen. It feels kind of meaningless somehow.
My mom and I also watched Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022, dir. Simon Curtis), the second Downton movie. Its plot is a little less flimsy than the first one, but there’s still not much meat on those bones. A film production company wants to shoot a movie at Downton Abbey; Mary stays behind to supervise, grandma Violet stays behind to continue being ill, and the rest of the family head off to the French Riviera to see a villa that has been mysteriously left to Violet by an old flame. The Riviera storyline is mostly characters debating whether or not Violet slept with the old flame (boring) while back at Downton the production is in trouble because silent movies are dead! Audiences only want newfangled talkies! The production adds sound, and this half of the movie becomes a more boring version of Singin’ in the Rain. There’s sort of a gay romance for Thomas, but they barely speak to each other before deciding to run off together, and never even kiss. Extremely pathetic stuff.
listening
I’ve been listening to Lucy Dacus’s 2025 album Forever Is a Feeling. I listened to it once when it first came out, but wasn’t in the right mood and finally came back to it now. I like it a lot, but I don’t love it like I do 2021’s Home Video, and have been listening to both on repeat trying to figure out why. There’s a clunkiness, I think, to some of the lyrics that either isn’t present on Home Video or I’ve stopped noticing. Lines like “Natalie's explaining limerence between taking hits from a blunt, high as a kite / While Rodney's playing GTA, I swear, why is he so good at this game? / It should be cause for concern” (Limerence) and “In the morning at the Ritz / $700 dollar room still drinking coffee from the Keurig” (Most Wanted Man) feel like first drafts.
eating & drinking
For dinner this week we had pizza (takeout), arroz con pollo, black pepper tofu wraps, sticky miso tofu, honey roasted chickpea salad, gochujang chicken and gnocchi, and miso crunch salad. My mom used her gluten-free sourdough discard to make an incredible chocolate peanut butter cake, which was the highlight of the week for sure. I’ve also been enjoying the lovely summer peaches and watermelon.
making & mending
I’m continuing to work on the bodice of my hinterland dress; I’ve finished the ties and the side seams, and bound the neckline. Next is to bind the armholes and make the button plackets. Progress has been very slow, and I’d be lying if i said it wasn’t frustrating.
Making slowly is something I believe in, generally speaking, and I think it’s especially important to sew garments intentionally when we live in a time of such extreme textile waste. But I wish it was something I was really choosing, not something I’ve been forced into by my disability. I like working by hand, and I like taking my time, but I would never choose to work in such short bursts, or not at all some days, if it weren’t for my fatigue. It is what is, and I want a new dress, I don’t need one. Still, I’d like to wear it a little sooner.
shopping
I’m almost at the bottom of my bottle of shampoo, and have to decide if I want to bother searching for a new one, or just continue on with something that’s fine but could be better. If anyone knows of the perfect shampoo for a dry scalp and curly hair, please let me know so I can avoid the googling.
kitsch corner
The August page of my vintage cats calendar is cute, but it mostly just makes me glad I’m not going back to school. I love not having homework to worry about.
See you next week.
xoxo,
Franny 💋💤